Oldboy

I decided I want to buy a copy of Oldboy to have, partially because it relates to my screenplay idea and I want to be able to watch it multiple times over a long period. Of course, we're a bit short on funds as usual and it's one of those things I think can wait. I did get a $25 gift card to Barnes and Noble over the holidays, but then I discovered that B&N seems to carry only the ultra deluxe Oldboy addition for $40. I suppose that's not bad when you consider I'd only be paying $15 of it, but at the same time I really don't want to pay that much when I don't really want any of the extras.

Screenplay Part Deux

Stuck in traffic last night I thought about my screenplay for over an hour. The whole time I was wishing I had a tape recorder to get some thoughts down, something to think about going forward. I got home and wanted to just start typing on the computer. As soon as I walked in the door I found out my Mom had arrived for dinner, so I sat down to eat. Then I had promised my son I'd play with him, so I did that. 2 hours after I'd walked in the door I'd lost every ounce of inspiration I was feeling.

I did realize which movies I need to sit down and watch which will be useful for my writing, so that's a positive. I'd hoped to at the very least have a chance to draw a map of the area the story takes place in so that I have a reference when I'm writing, but that didn't get done either. So often I feel like I'm living a life of obligations. Some of them I love, some of them I hate, all of them seem to stand between me and my dreams at times.

My screenplay

I've had an idea for a movie screenplay in my head for months and months. For a long time I thought about writing a book, even got started a couple of times, but for whatever reason things would just stop. A book makes sense because my sister used to be a literary editor (now an agent) and she's always volunteered to help me refine whatever I put together. That's a fantastic resource, yet the story in my head is definitely a screenplay and not a novel. It's even something that could be done so low budget that I might actually be able to find a way to put it together myself. Sure, it would be rough to drum up the funds and it could very well be a loss but wouldn't it scratch that creative itch I have?

I think a part of my personal issue with getting started is one of the last pieces of baggage my father left with me. I read a great interview with Roger Clyne where he mentioned telling his father that he was going to give music a try, and his father said he was disappointed and that Roger had failed. The rub being he'd failed because he said he'd try, not that he'd chosen music. The poison that I was fed when I was younger was the buildup of expectations (You can be anything you want!) followed by the cautionary wisdom (But be realistic!). For some stupid reason the cautionary wisdom has always stuck with me. Because of that I have trouble starting my writing, I don't want to end up "wasting" the time with nothing to show for it.

I know I'll always kick my own ass if I don't try something though.